If you were unlucky enough(or stupid enough) to sit through the shitty Teen Choice Awards, then you were given a moment of relief when Jessica Alba hit the stage. She won for Female Hottie(insert jerk-off hand motion here), which of course came as a huge surprise... she actually spent her moment on the mic discussing how important beauty is "on the inside" and that's what was really important(insert puke face here). It's funny how easy that is to say when you're pretty much the hottest person on earth.
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