By chopping off her hair, Victoria Beckham has finally acheived her ideal weight of 76lbs... hmm, what's that like 5.4 stones for you English fucks?(i'm kidding, i love you). Sources say, when running at the right speed, Victoria can literally hover for 3-4 seconds. It's totally true... she can also jump through keyholes. By the way, who's the bloke she's got her arm wrapped around? David should seriously whoop that punk boy's ass. It doesn't matter who it is... it'd be great publicity.