I haven't posted ol' Jessica Simpson in a while so i guess a good start would be her in a super short dress/skirt thingy... what the hell is that anyway? Ah, who cares as long as it shows those long, smooth thighs. It's good to know that even though she's gone country that she hasn't lost any of her sluttiness.. er, sexiness. By the way, anyone know who's hitting that these days?
And what a lovely pair of huge tits they are. If you didn't know, there's a war presently on between the Simpson sisters, Ashlee and Jessica. That's right, it's a war of sluttiness... well, actually it's a war to see who can look the best - but slutty is a better word. After Ashless's latest face manipulaiton, she's now surpassing Jessica in the hotness spectrum. Although, i always thought she kicked her ass in the "cutest" area anyway. It's going to be difficult to beat out sister Jessica's body, though. That thing is tight! Let the slut-fest begin!
Looks like Jessica was feeling a bit rebellious that day. Perhaps now that Ashlee is transforming into the new and improved hot, blonde, Simpson sister... it's time for Jessica to reinvent herself as well. All she needs now is a few tattoos and a brand new Harley-Davidson. Well, i suppose a new black outfit doesn't necessarily mean a new image... but hey, i'm just trying to help. I still say Jess and Ash should just dyke it out already. Don't kid yourself into thinking ol' Joe Simpson hasn't seen the $$$ in that possible venture.
Okay, i think i've figured out why today's kids are so fucking stupid... and they are, don't kid yourself(haha - get it?). So after the hottest chick on the planet, Jessica Alba, tells all the kids "oh, looks aren't really important - teehee, thanks for the hottest chick award!" Nelly Furtado hops up on stage and sings her song about having spontanious, promiscuous sex, with as many people as you can... then adds "Remeber kids, don't be promiscuous... but if you do, wear a condom!" I mean, what... the... fuck. Meh fuck it, at least she looked hot.
I've always liked Ashlee better... (well, let me get something straight... i'd rather scratch my ears off with a garden hoe than listen to their music, what i'm talking about is strictly physical appearance)... and lately Jessica just isn't looking too bangable. Perhaps it's the unflattering wardrobe, or perhaps it's her "omg i miss nick" slouch... whatever it is, Ashlee's got it going on, while Jessica's losing anything she had. Meh, i guess it's nothing a few visits to the plastic surgeon or some uppers can't fix. Just ask Ashlee.
What Jessica needs is a good old fashioned Hollywood nervous breakdown. She'll be forced to get some rest, it'll boost her popularity and nothing says money like a comeback. Personally i don't understand why celebrities think they're under so much stress... especially Simpson here, all she does is shop, party, and put out a shitty album every year or so. Oh, she did have to strut around in tiny cut-off shorts in the Dukes of Hazzard, that must have been sooooo stressful.
